How Do I

How do I tell my daughter
"About that party on Saturday
Mommy will try her best
But we may have to skip it"

She bears her mother's struggle
Yet she is young & shouldn't be bothered
By an illness that keeps her sheltered
How do I tell my daughter

I want so much to give her opportunity
The age of wellness & happiness
With excitement of summer & playing with friends
However my unpredictable health seems endless

How do I tell my daughter
"Sure I told you yesterday we would go
But today I feel so bad
And it will have to wait until I'm better"

Her disappointment obviously repeats
And equally for me not having the capability
My fear is she will in time resent me
For she was held back by my disability

How do I tell my daughter
The doctors say "in another year"
They are trying new things to make me better
A broken record she continues to hear

I know the most important thing is love
To give her all that is possible in my words
My heart is always reaching out and above
Faith and courage I hope she learns

Doing Alot of Nothing

Do you ever look out your window
And realize your beautiful rainbow
Colors in your life you suddenly recognize
I did today, and found myself hiding in disguise

I talk about my sincere desire to overcome this strife
And how this battle will not be my life
I can take it like Lance Armstrong
But in the end, I'm Doing A Lot of Nothing

Doing A Lot of Nothing
It really hits home
No more blaming anyone or any thing
It's like my mirror is now turned On

The colors finally shine when the mirror can collect
All that which we have chosen to forget
So many lessons I've sought & gained insight
But changing myself, I truly did not fight

Today, at this moment I must Do
Just Thinking after a while turns into Nothing
Life requires purpose carried out
Otherwise you are doing a lot of nothing

Every morning when you wake up
Before or during your morning coffee cup
Make at least one goal and Do that one thing
You will begin to feel your rainbow instead of nothing