Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Stop Misfortune Before It Begins

Welcome Truth's Light and Make Everything Right for You

Have you ever seen rage in yourself? Generally, we don't want to see certain states within us because we've been conditioned to think of them as bad for us. We don't understand that these states are part of a world that can be changed when the light is brought to them.

What happens when we see things about ourselves that we don't want to see?

In order to avoid looking at itself, the mind will seize on the rage it has seen, and it will try to explain it. It will take the initial darkness, the negative energy, and because it seems to be so bad, the mind will make something out of it that it can deal with.

When we live from a nature that does not want to see its own self, then there's no chance that self, that nature, can ever change. When we hide from ourselves the way we feel, the only thing that we're accomplishing is the assurance that these feelings will return again... only more of them! It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: we condemn and doom ourselves by being afraid of the darkness in us.

We have one thing to do with our own states, and that is to see them as they are, to catch the part of us that's afraid of being what we've just seen, to stop trying to hide anything anymore... because we're on this earth to learn.

Negative states are created for the purpose within ourselves of being changed into something else. Everything that happens within us is all part of this beautiful process: anything that we are willing to bring into the light of ourselves will be changed by the light we bring it into.

So instead of going along with the answers that you give yourself for why you feel the way you do -- instead of excuses, rationales, justifications for your state (which are the mind's way of trying to deflect the state) -- don't hide it. Just simply see it. If you don't explain yourself to yourself, then all that's left is yourself and your awareness of it. You're not talking to yourself anymore about what you see. There's just seeing.

Don't hide anymore. There is something beautiful that doesn't have fear in it that wants to touch us. Its touch is what changes us. We cannot change ourselves. All the ways in which we excuse these dark parts are efforts on the part of the darkness to change itself, to deal with it, to get around it. Stop trying to get around a negative state. Bring the negative state into the light of your awareness, and let that awareness do what it is intended to do, which is to change it, to transform it.

-- Guy Finley

Saturday, October 24, 2009

The Learning Foundation - Free Self-Help Resource

Years before I became disabled, I was introduced by a friend to Guy Finley's books and audio material (many online free materials). For about 3-4 years on my way into/way home from work I would listen to Guy's CD's that were always remarkable lessons that gave me better insight to issues and struggles. Apparently I was meant to be directed to Guy, as I became disabled and all those CD's got pulled out again, along with about 4 books I have bought and just kept listening and reading. The great thing about Guy's nonprofit organization "The Learning Foundation" is that you can get weekly free lessons emailed to you. You can listen to Guy online via his webcast. He has been a great teacher to me and I think you might find at minimum his free weekly lessons a blessing to your life.

To find out more click on the banner below and you will be redirected to Guy Finely's world of free materials. I'm not going to tell you that he gives away his books or audio CD's....but whether you purchase material or choose to stay with free material you will be doing yourself a great favor!

Visit guyfinley.com

Monday, October 19, 2009

My Story About Sidi Muhammad al-Jammal

I had the pleasure on Oct 1-3 to attend a Sufi retreat in order to obtain physical healing for my illness (polyneuropathy) by a man named Sidi Muhammad al-Jammal from Jerusalem. I got to too tired on the 3rd day to get my one on one healing with Sidi. However on the 1st day he gave me the Arabic name "Sabira" for "patience, enduring" and he reached out to my hand and said "patience....that which you wish for is coming". I have attached a You Tube video of Sidi giving a meaningful story about a wasp and a bird. Also for understanding the language translation for "Allah" is God.

Please give yourself a gift by clicking on this link. If unable to click, just copy and paste into your browser:


Saturday, October 17, 2009

Disability - How to Obtain - All The Facts You Need

If you want to find out how to obtain disability benefits, from a website I have used that cost NOTHING, please refer below to the link in this blog post. This website is a wonderful resource for those of us chronically ill needing disability benefits. There is a community forum on here with other people who share in common the struggles of being very ill and at the same time trying to get what is entitled to them...Social Security Benefits! I have been a member of this site for over a year and the information loaded in this site is amazing. Not only did I get all the information I would need for an appeal, or renewal but there is step by step guide on how to get Social Security without involving an attorney. Most people think they have to rely on an attorney but if you join this site for free, you will be guaranteed a world of webinars, posted blogs and newsletters on how to do almost any aspect of obtaining/securing your social security disability. Trust me, this is why this blog was started....to help others like myself!
Click on the link below to play the audio message And Learn How A FREE Disability Digest Membership Will Teach You Absolutely Everything (You) Need To Know About Disability!


To get your free membership go to:

Christine Messaros

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Your Blue Sky - Tribute to Army Major Matthew W. Worrell

Tribute to Army Major Matthew W. Worrell

I never knew Matthew Worrell. However on one late day in May 2006 I was delighted at the Blue Sky. I was so inspired I wrote a poem titled Your Blue Sky. After starting the poem, I knew I had to continue packing as I was moving from an apartment to a house. The move was scheduled for Memorial Day Weekend. I put the poem I started away. However, going through newspapers for packing dishes, I found an article that hit a chord with me stronger than anything ever has before. It was titled "Served in Iraq with Night Stalkers Unit". Matthew's story of how he was apart of the aviation mission and the outfit of the Night Stalkers moved me along with the age of 34 in which he departed. Suddenly, I realized the poem I had just started that day...Your Blue Sky. I had been drawn to the blue sky and what it meant to me. Somehow I couldn't imagine that I found this article on Matthew's group who was struck down as just a coincidence. I took the article and cut it out. Although that was in 2006 and now we are in October 2009, I have saved both the article and poem telling myself that I would finish it and make sure the family had this. My misfortune is not as great as those who lost Matthew: husband, father, son and friend. However, part of the reason for the delay in finishing this poem and tribute, is one month after I began this poem I became ill...resulting in now my disability. How God does work, I have turned my disability into an opportunity to extend on my poetry. If anyone knows how I can get this poem I have tributed to Matthew Worrell's family please advise. I have searched and searched on the internet but can only find mention of his wife's name and parent's name but unable to find any other information to contact the family.

Your Blue Sky

How much do we embrace our blue sky

That beautiful feeling when we see such a view

Of a deep blue sea way up high

Providing a sense of a soul renewed

It would be so wonderful for all of us

If we could demonstrate a blue sky to others

Learning to give as the blue sky, the hope of God's purpose

What a fulfilling gift to shine our light among us

Clouds will clutter but are temporary, and possess a lesson

If we identify with the clouds we are not awake

Do not assume that cloudy days means our blue sky is gone

For if you do, this will affect God's path for you to take

As much as we yearn for each day to be filled of the blue sky

We must not forget the necessity of clouds and storms

So many times we may not see clearly or understand why

However, know that all storms will pass and blue skies again are born

Saturday, September 12, 2009

How Do I

How do I tell my daughter
"About that party on Saturday
Mommy will try her best
But we may have to skip it"

She bears her mother's struggle
Yet she is young & shouldn't be bothered
By an illness that keeps her sheltered
How do I tell my daughter

I want so much to give her opportunity
The age of wellness & happiness
With excitement of summer & playing with friends
However my unpredictable health seems endless

How do I tell my daughter
"Sure I told you yesterday we would go
But today I feel so bad
And it will have to wait until I'm better"

Her disappointment obviously repeats
And equally for me not having the capability
My fear is she will in time resent me
For she was held back by my disability

How do I tell my daughter
The doctors say "in another year"
They are trying new things to make me better
A broken record she continues to hear

I know the most important thing is love
To give her all that is possible in my words
My heart is always reaching out and above
Faith and courage I hope she learns

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Doing Alot of Nothing

Do you ever look out your window
And realize your beautiful rainbow
Colors in your life you suddenly recognize
I did today, and found myself hiding in disguise

I talk about my sincere desire to overcome this strife
And how this battle will not be my life
I can take it like Lance Armstrong
But in the end, I'm Doing A Lot of Nothing

Doing A Lot of Nothing
It really hits home
No more blaming anyone or any thing
It's like my mirror is now turned On

The colors finally shine when the mirror can collect
All that which we have chosen to forget
So many lessons I've sought & gained insight
But changing myself, I truly did not fight

Today, at this moment I must Do
Just Thinking after a while turns into Nothing
Life requires purpose carried out
Otherwise you are doing a lot of nothing

Every morning when you wake up
Before or during your morning coffee cup
Make at least one goal and Do that one thing
You will begin to feel your rainbow instead of nothing

Saturday, August 29, 2009

You Are Great

"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great, make you feel that you too can become great." -Mark Twain


"Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future"

"Remember he who has the entitlement to forgive: If you were not the one wronged let it go"

Monday, June 15, 2009

Angel You Have Flown

If you scroll down to the first entry of my blog, you will notice a tribute to My Grandpa.

On May 28, 2009, my Grandpa, Bob, was given final rest and peace. Thank you God, for knowing the right time to bless Bob and keep him in good hands.

Angel You Have Flown

You shined brighter than any light
You gave more than anyone I've known
No one used to hug me as tight
Beautiful angel away you've flown

How you gave your help for those in need
Four legged creatures so desperate for your care
They soon knew your love and so does the word seed
More dogs were in your yard, as those who dump animals dare

I can't forget your laughter
Or you asking "Whose sweetie pie are you"
Your voice and words are in my heart forever
May you find a world so shiny and new

You soar now, with God's angels hidden among us
I can only imagine what you may see in heaven
We know that God will fulfill His purpose
Guiding us through our lives, and to you again

Monday, April 20, 2009

I Dreamed A Dream

Couldn't help myself....I saw this video and I felt it demonstrated what we all need to learn:

1. Don't jump to judgment
2. Always Dream
3. There's Always A Reality For A Dream Pursued
4. Everyone Deserves a Chance - You might be surprised

Whatch this video performance and see how I felt it was perfect for "Design Your Destiny".


Thursday, April 16, 2009

Disability Without "D"

The dictionary provides it's definition
General population think they know
Today I took off "D" and found "Is Ability"

Many use the word as a label
And I know, cause I use to not wear it
God taught me a lesson on being capable
In the end I understood a better description fit

Give me a conversation and I will HEAR more
Show me a moment, now I SEE
Giving love like I never did before
God blessed me with "Is Ability"

Now I don't work, I LIVE
No more stolen time with my family
Learning & trying harder to FORGIVE
All because of my "Is Ability"

It's taken three years to find it all
Reaction is to resist, not seeing the opportunity
My happiness flows without that dark wall
Thank God for my "Is Ability"

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Issue with Disability, Fear and Faith

(Journal Entry 9/27/06)

Lessons today on:

1. Fear not having it's way
2. Don't Resist
3. Attention Redirection - "Think God"
4. Peace Thief
5. Not allowing my frustrations to be directed at others

This day I spent frustrated regarding disability telling me that my LTD benefits could not be extended with the present physician information. After my request for an escalation on the matter, I started thinking about the possible outcome if denied benefits. I did not think about the best outcome of being approved for LTD extension. Instead my focus remained on "what if" the benefits get denied. That is where I let fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) set in. I did not use the thought redirection of "Think God". Additionally I was "not in the moment" and I was resisting the situation. Knowing that I spent the better portion of today like that was eye-opening. I spent time going over the story with my boss on what do we do "if". I spent more time with another friend on the phone going over the same story. Then I went to lunch with James, and when he prompted me on LTD status, I went through the story for the 3rd time today. After lunch I came home and called the doctor's office. I allowed my fear and frustration to be put upon someone who had no control over my worry.

At the end of the day, I found out my LTD benefits were approved.

Now, did I feel silly? Yes. All that energy into a worry and fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). Is it OK to feel silly? Yes. But then let it go. Focus on the lesson and then make a mental note to yourself that faith has to be exercised in order to have peace and happiness. I lost my peace & happiness on this day because I simply did not exercise faith in God. I was praying to Him throughout the day but I also acted in fear.

Another lesson for me today was a moment when I thought my plans fell through. I was suppose to be meeting James for lunch, however I accidentally stuck my house key in the truck ignition. I tried & tried to get the key out. I called James for help but he had no ideas. He suggested coming to the house & I said no... I decided to pass on lunch. I then called the dealership for help. They gave me instructions on what "might"work. As I was attempting to follow their directions, I called another friend "Stephanie" and with much frustration explained my "dilemma". I was resisting the situation, assuming the worst outcome I allowed thoughts into my head like "what if I have to get my truck towed" and "what if I can't get Celina from school". After trying and trying to get the key out, eventually it did come out.

Why did I have so little faith?
Why did I resist the situation?
Why did I expect the worst?
Why did I panic?

God is definitely testing my desire & journey of learning to be active in faith, trusting in Him to provide to me what I need. Fear of every little potential problem will not produce what I need in life. Even if it is a problem, why not trust that God will handle it? In the end I have gained another lesson on how to achieve peace & happiness.

Take A Deep Breath

(Created on 10/14/08)

Instead of reacting in anger or haste
Allowing worry to absorb our day
What valuable energy we waste
What if we took a deep breath

You hear news on the phone
Explosion comes & you keep moving it along
No thought to what affect it has on everyone
What if we took a deep breath

The high pace world in which we live
Takes from us as we give back to it
Our bodies breakdown & suddenly nothing left to give
What if we took a deep breath

Life's demands are truly our choices
A choice to see demand or opportunity
Can we see an opportunity to change our courses
What if we took a deep breath

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Hidden Blessings

If chronic illness has a home
Moments in life can be stolen
Keep a careful eye on where you are
Most of what you miss are the Hidden Blessings

Be the purpose designed by God
Don't stop trying and find support
Distance from those who hurt you with fraud
Give room to the Hidden Blessings

Daily struggles accept, don't resist
Life is not an entitlement
There is more than your illness
Allow the Hidden Blessings

You will fall, you can rise, accept help
Keep true to yourself & others
Don't apologize or sacrifice yourself
Be a part of the Hidden Blessings

Know that God does love you
Show it in mind, body, & soul
He will not fail to provide rescue
And will continue to bless you with Hidden Blessings

Grandpa Days Later

Bob continues to rise above. Against most odds, Bob came through emergency amputation of his leg. He is improving every day. God thank you for blessing Bob and I pray that he continues to regain strength and health. Mostly I pray he is comfortable and faithful. Amen!

Sunday, March 15, 2009

My Grandpa

There is a man of goals, hard work, failures and accomplishments. One of the highest integrity that only I could hope to posses. He is a man who has seen challenges and overcome. Lived a life giving love and good spirit to others. A soul who did not know a stranger and surely did not like gossip. This man, is my Grandpa.

There is a time when I didn't know how tough times would be. One of the most hardest things for me to see and hear is the suffering of my Grandpa's finality of life on this earth. I do pray that he can be given the release of his great anguish as he did his life in great respect to the One above. Not one thread of responsibility left untouched nor of love not shown. He does deserve an end to the relentless painful struggle.

My sisters and I both love the man with a heart of gold. That heart of gold was given by him, with wisdom he so wanted to share and for a reason. He wanted so much to teach us values. He did. Myself, along with my two other sisters were built with the values that he so richly exposed us to. He was not discriminatory and never did we see a hypocrite. His love for animals indescribable!

Never did a dog or cat on the side of the road, who could have been lost or dumped there, went alone once my grandpa found them. He just didn't know how to turn one away. Trust me, that my grandpa's veterinarian can contest due to the number of animals and extent to the amount of vet bills that went through the vet's office because of my Grandpa's unveiling love for those animals in need. My grandpa would rarely ever go on a vacation but I know of one occasion when he drove hundreds of miles over days to purchase a so called "wheelchair" for one of the dogs. This dog's hind legs had become paralyzed. Bob, (Grandpa) built a special shelter for the dog and gave it love like all the other dogs. Many years later that dog regained feeling in his legs and was able to walk again.

During church, grandpa Bob (we call him by name, Bob) slept. This was not uncommon at all but the part that I used to get so embarrassed about was when he would start to snore. I remember giving him a shove so the pastor wouldn't notice. One day, I was at the pastor's house preparing for a wedding that I was going to play piano for. The pastor brought up Bob sleeping during church service. I was not prepared to hear what came out of the pastor's mouth. The pastor said "I know your Grandpa sleeps through most of the service.....but I bet he gets more out of that service than most of the people in the church...".

As I am now in my early 40's I look back on all the days with my grandparents and especially the "after church" moments. Going out to eat as a kid with them was the most exciting thing to do! We knew there would always be something in it for us because Bob you see was the "spoiler". We took unusual trips sometimes after church. My grandparents had a RV that I can only recall them taking on vacation (1) time. However, after church many times we would go by their house, transition to the RV and take it to McDonald's or the nearby diner. Of course the couple of house dogs (all other dogs had outdoor houses) got to go and a Big Mac or hamburger was obviously in it for them. You could see how much they appreciated that! My sisters and I knew Bob, and whether it was McDonald's or a treat and the dairy shop, he was sure to treat us. Many of the lessons we learned from him was the stories he would tell on the way to somewhere, or on the way home.

There is much more I could tell you about the man that I adore. Unfortunately I might ramble for days, and I don't think any of us have time for that. It was important for me to pay tribute to this man. Today he lies unresponsive in the hospital, and was to have surgery to save his life 3 days ago (cancelled due to weakness). I had to put my thoughts down. I don't know what he is thinking or if at all. One song that he loved to play to my sisters & I was "Me & Bobby McGee" and we would all sing it together. I hope wherever he is, his favorite song is playing and he can relish the moments we had which were filled with only happy times. My greatest of all hopes is he can see all the smiles he put on our faces and the joy that he gave us just by being himself.

I love you Bob, wherever you are. I wish I could be with you by your side. Since I can't be there, I am hoping you know exactly what my heart feels for you. Love Always "Your Sweetie Pie".