Monday, April 20, 2009

I Dreamed A Dream

Couldn't help myself....I saw this video and I felt it demonstrated what we all need to learn:

1. Don't jump to judgment
2. Always Dream
3. There's Always A Reality For A Dream Pursued
4. Everyone Deserves a Chance - You might be surprised

Whatch this video performance and see how I felt it was perfect for "Design Your Destiny".

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Disability Without "D"

The dictionary provides it's definition
General population think they know
Today I took off "D" and found "Is Ability"

Many use the word as a label
And I know, cause I use to not wear it
God taught me a lesson on being capable
In the end I understood a better description fit

Give me a conversation and I will HEAR more
Show me a moment, now I SEE
Giving love like I never did before
God blessed me with "Is Ability"

Now I don't work, I LIVE
No more stolen time with my family
Learning & trying harder to FORGIVE
All because of my "Is Ability"

It's taken three years to find it all
Reaction is to resist, not seeing the opportunity
My happiness flows without that dark wall
Thank God for my "Is Ability"

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Issue with Disability, Fear and Faith

(Journal Entry 9/27/06)

Lessons today on:

1. Fear not having it's way
2. Don't Resist
3. Attention Redirection - "Think God"
4. Peace Thief
5. Not allowing my frustrations to be directed at others

This day I spent frustrated regarding disability telling me that my LTD benefits could not be extended with the present physician information. After my request for an escalation on the matter, I started thinking about the possible outcome if denied benefits. I did not think about the best outcome of being approved for LTD extension. Instead my focus remained on "what if" the benefits get denied. That is where I let fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) set in. I did not use the thought redirection of "Think God". Additionally I was "not in the moment" and I was resisting the situation. Knowing that I spent the better portion of today like that was eye-opening. I spent time going over the story with my boss on what do we do "if". I spent more time with another friend on the phone going over the same story. Then I went to lunch with James, and when he prompted me on LTD status, I went through the story for the 3rd time today. After lunch I came home and called the doctor's office. I allowed my fear and frustration to be put upon someone who had no control over my worry.

At the end of the day, I found out my LTD benefits were approved.

Now, did I feel silly? Yes. All that energy into a worry and fear (False Evidence Appearing Real). Is it OK to feel silly? Yes. But then let it go. Focus on the lesson and then make a mental note to yourself that faith has to be exercised in order to have peace and happiness. I lost my peace & happiness on this day because I simply did not exercise faith in God. I was praying to Him throughout the day but I also acted in fear.

Another lesson for me today was a moment when I thought my plans fell through. I was suppose to be meeting James for lunch, however I accidentally stuck my house key in the truck ignition. I tried & tried to get the key out. I called James for help but he had no ideas. He suggested coming to the house & I said no... I decided to pass on lunch. I then called the dealership for help. They gave me instructions on what "might"work. As I was attempting to follow their directions, I called another friend "Stephanie" and with much frustration explained my "dilemma". I was resisting the situation, assuming the worst outcome I allowed thoughts into my head like "what if I have to get my truck towed" and "what if I can't get Celina from school". After trying and trying to get the key out, eventually it did come out.

Why did I have so little faith?
Why did I resist the situation?
Why did I expect the worst?
Why did I panic?

God is definitely testing my desire & journey of learning to be active in faith, trusting in Him to provide to me what I need. Fear of every little potential problem will not produce what I need in life. Even if it is a problem, why not trust that God will handle it? In the end I have gained another lesson on how to achieve peace & happiness.

Take A Deep Breath

(Created on 10/14/08)

Instead of reacting in anger or haste
Allowing worry to absorb our day
What valuable energy we waste
What if we took a deep breath

You hear news on the phone
Explosion comes & you keep moving it along
No thought to what affect it has on everyone
What if we took a deep breath

The high pace world in which we live
Takes from us as we give back to it
Our bodies breakdown & suddenly nothing left to give
What if we took a deep breath

Life's demands are truly our choices
A choice to see demand or opportunity
Can we see an opportunity to change our courses
What if we took a deep breath