Overcoming Isolation with Social Media Network

Here is the second blog I had the pleasure of writing for Crafted Elegance. Hope you enjoy!

One of the things I have learned just recently in 2011, is how my own social isolation was improved by the Internet. Many individuals, who are housebound (i.e. disabled, stay at home moms along with caregivers), find themselves over time to become socially isolated. Participating in relationships and contacts outside the home is critical to health as shown by national studies. Studies recently conducted, are focusing on whether the Internet is a positive or negative influence for those isolated. Overall the studies do show that the online communication of chat rooms, online dating and social networks have reduced isolation and will continue to do so through 2020! Here is a study I found on this serious topic and to view click on the link: http://jacquemundell.wordpress.com/2010/07/02/survey-internet-improves-social-relations-is-a-positive-force/ I haven't been to a happy hour in probably 15 or so years. The "end of the work week" used to be a place where my coworkers and friends would gather over a beer, while enjoying each other with laughter. Being social was always part of my way of being. I talk a lot and anyone who knows me will tell you that! My history of employment was that of a service type position where I had to work on people's computers, telephones, wiring, etc. It was important that I have a social attitude when working on people's office equipment and that opportunity fulfilled my strong desire to be part of a group of people. I think many of us have that nature in us to be a part of something other than ourselves. We make friends at work, church and in our fitness world (if we have one outside the home). I was an avid "work-out girl" and used to spend hours upon hours at the gym....and I loved the social atmosphere there too! Another thing I used to love to do with my friends is dance! Most weekends I had to be "out" or I felt so bored. Starting a family is a common stage in life where family becomes the primary focus and we gradually wean into this family mode. Especially when you have that baby that just makes your heart explode, being social takes a different twist. We tend to mingle at the work place but happy hours and weekend dancing goes way back on the back burner. Imagine though becoming ill with your body restricted...or injured to the point that interacting with others is more than a challenge....it becomes so difficult you can't drive, maybe even mobility is an issue. The trend is unfortunately that your good co-workers (who are busy with their family and friends) after time will not call anymore, or visit. Definitely relationships with friends can be strained by your new world. It's nobody's fault that you're "disabled" and/or your life doesn't fit in with others. It is very hard to understand and live with someone who is disabled. In my experience, and as I have learned from talking to others who have become disabled, life outside the home rarely exist. It becomes a world you don't recognize, and turns into isolation that can lead to depression. I know, as I went through all of this. Now comes what some may think is funny or odd, but I bet those who have been isolated, will understand. Social Media Network stopped my isolation! I have been on Facebook since about 2008, however, I wasn't really drawn into Facebook and I wasn't a regular visitor except when I wanted to post some pictures. When 2011 arrived, I started a Facebook group called "Finding the Answer" which was to help me focus on finding answers for my wellness. This was the new pavement that I was about to learn would lead me out of isolation and back into my social world. I began sharing stories with friends, finding new friends, finding friends with common issues, and the list goes on. I found opportunity in Facebook with my writing but most of all I had my laughter and social energy back!!! I so desperately needed friends to just joke around with and feel like I belonged to a group. The amount of time I spend hooting over witty comments and fun times with my friends and family across the U.S. has changed my life for the better. I had lost my sense of humor, but I regained it and then something far better and surprising happened. I physically felt better!!! When I had my social interactions back, I could feel my body strength improve and physical pain reduce. I may have serious health issues going on at present, but having the ability to joke and laugh, makes all the rest seem not as important. I don't want my pain, illness, or plain health issues to be the center of me. Making others smile and laugh, brings delight in my life and my body has been rewarded by this gift. It may be hard to reach out in the Social Medial Network if you are presently alone and maybe not sure how to get "out there" on any internet social media. I never thought that 3 years after I joined facebook I would be writing about how it virtually saved my life. One step towards opening the door, allowing a few friends to be of comfort and to add light back into your spirit may surprise you beyond what you could imagine. I only hope that more people who are isolated can find their way to people who make them inspired, grow, and laugh...it is one source of medicine we do require.

Opportunity is Ability - Blogger for Crafted Elegance

The Opportunity Is Ability

Wednesday, 16 March 2011 23:32

In 2006, I was faced with my life changing event called disability. I focused initially on the physical problems and overcoming them. A wise friend gave me advice, the same words repeatedly which were "find the opportunity". As I tried to digest those words and handle what I viewed as only my pain that no one could understand, the words hit me so many times "find the opportunity". I would get "annoyed" at times with my friend who was healthy because she wasn't going through my ordeal. I thought how dare she keep telling me to get beyond my pain and stop resisting. I knew my friend was right about finding the opportunity. It was the best advice but I wasn't ready to receive it. Then in 2008, I began to try and create a business with being able to work from home and make up for the income loss when I converted to disability pay. The loss of income was quite extreme and I was a single mother. Repeatedly since 2008 I have continued to try and find my business opportunity but at the same time I felt the reins of the illness pulling me down. I had accomplished a business startup but there were so many Internet scams I came across and I questioned if a means of providing for me and my daughter was even possible. Presently I have peace and opportunity in my writing. I learned that opportunity is also the knowledge and recognition that I have more ability. A few months ago I read a post for crafters needed at Crafted Elegance and was intrigued at the fact that the owner of Crafted Elegance and myself had many things in common. Dianalynn Varin is disabled just as I, and she is a business owner starting out, clearly she demonstrated the desire for a business opportunity, and to provide for the ability disabled folks have. Dianalynn Varin, has shown not only her desire to bring opportunity to herself, but in doing so, through Crafted Elegance she has provided a world of opportunity to those who are restricted but want to go on providing for themselves. Making crafts has an element of peacefulness to it and that was a huge attraction to me to be a crafter. I wanted to give myself some peace and a break from my own business while I allowed my body to heal. What Dianalynn did for me is help me see that I have been exhibiting opportunity all along, by blogging and writing poetry. I am honored that Dianalynn asked me to be the "blogger" for Crafted Elegance. I believe in Dianalynn and Crafted Elegance 100 percent. There is a poem I wrote a year ago called "Disability Without "D" which you can find in my blog archives. Crafted Elegance is the place where "Is Ability" (Disability without "D") is demonstrated by the owner, the business opportunity for the disabled, and the customer...who will not only have purchased a quality inspected product, but allowed ability to shine on the faces of every crafter and on Crafted Elegance. Please take a moment and check out Crafted Elegance website! I am working on a craft myself to start selling! So whether you are interested in creating & selling a craft or buying hand-crafted qulity items, Crafted Elegance wants to give you opportunity with quality! http://www.craftedelegance.org/ - Click on the link!

This Far

Don't sit and let your mind scatter and compare
It's not about what you think is fair
Through it all, This Far is what matters
It will sustain you through the blinding glare

Picking up the pieces of a continual mourning
I failed to see all the good I had happening
Making an effort to see beyond the eye
This Far, is enough without any Why

Climbing those stairs that circle and wind
Is critical to healing, even if it doesn't seem kind
The focus being on your walk through the journey
Looking at how far you've come instead of disability

Believe beyond your expectations and plans
For that which is out of your control is in His hands
Each step you take makes all the difference
We weren't meant to be our own hindrance

Find how far you can go by not looking backward
Keep your attention on the next step forward
Don't fret over the stones that may slow your walk
And be careful not to listen to the evil around you talk

There will be days that This Far will be still
Don't make it about self punishment or lack of will
Some days are meant to be quiet and motionless
Keeping yourself peaceful and gracious

You know This Far can be about your influence
Give yourself and others the motivation to go the distance
No matter what don't give in to the hardship
This Far is God's way of helping you worship

Don't forget to pray to Him who walks with you
He wants you to recognize the walk and What you do
Talking is not enough, so show This Far with dignity
This Far is accepting that one step, even the smallest is plenty

Broken

Hopefully you have a hobby or outlet that helps in your journey of trying to pull you through any struggle, whether it is tough times in your life, health issues, etc. Some of you know I tend to write poetry and am very big on my journals. During the most difficult of times in my illness, I would sit and think of how I felt, how my family must feel, and start to write. My poetry collection is starting to pick up however it halted for the last few months.

My coming forward with this is just a way to say keep doing whatever keeps your spirit alive. I allowed depression and focus on my pain to keep me from writing. I had told James several times that there were no words coming form my heart and I had not written a poem for months. "One liners" have come to me, which I jot down but just a big block in my mind and heart.

Today as I was reading through my journal I found something I ever noticed before but loved seeing how it changed my heart. In my journal, I wrote on Dec. 26th, "Celina told me she thinks I should work on my poetry. I think she is wise". Then the next page in my journal was a poem I wrote on Dec. 27th....and I wrote this poem without Celina's advice in my thought process. I needed "my therapy" and on 12/27 I was up all night, unable to sleep. I had ulcers all over my tongue, and I started to obsess over them. Then I went to the computer at 4am and wrote the following poem:

(This poem is about the countless doctor's I've tried to explain my body's message, counselor who I had built much faith and fondness for but "she" revealed her true self, and hired psychologist, by private disability, for hidden agenda's to disprove my body's voice).

Broken

Mind, Body and Soul need to be together

Without them balanced, you are a meaningless token

Every storm big or small you cannot weather

You continue to fall but hope you won't end up broken

In front of them all, like presenting to a jury

You expose all, expecting something in return

Justice, Sympathy, Integrity, Humanity

And when that fails, you feel it as a personal burn

You seek answers from prophets of God

"Patience, that which you wish for is coming"

Over and over "patience" is drilled into the head

Now 20 years later, what should you be feeling?

Therapy reveals to you what you reveal to it

You try to get help and in return are struck down

In my face you spit

Your faces may smile at me but your souls frown

Illness struck the body mind and soul

You added insult to injury

Knowing me was not on your schedule

Next I'm accused of perjury

So stand up, don't stay broken

Every day trying to find your legs and their strength

Seems they are weak and lack desire for walkin

By now, you know there's another kick in the ass comin

The next day after writing this poem, I found out:

1. I was scammed $6500 on my credit card - still trying to resolve

2. Medical drug insurance coverage was halted and $400 worth of meds still waiting at the

pharmacy

3. Went to refill my Darvocet - found out that FDA pulled it from US - now illegal

4. Missed my doctor's appt that I had waited 3 months for...I have never missed appt with

this doctor in 4 years. I was so sick I couldn't hardly get out of bed for 3 days. Now

the doctor can't see me for another 3 months.

Sometimes, despite how negative the poetry seems, it is truly my therapy. My daughter is wise and I now feel the inspiration to write again.

Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside all people. He said, 'My son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith.'

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: 'Which wolf wins?'

The old Cherokee simply replied, 'The one you feed.'

Blowing In The Wind

This poem is dedicated to Ron Markowicz. Ron lives in Las Vegas, NV where he has been fighting for his life and family for the past 2 years. His fight is what many across the U.S. suffer from and wait for repeated silence, injustice, fraudulent and unethical practices. The problem and fight is regarding Workers Compensation in our U.S. If you have an expectation or assumption that you will be protected if ever injured on the job, think again my friends!

The poem I wrote below is my personal attempt to reach the media and anyone who can help what appears to be numerous victims of the worst system we rely on. In my review of Ron's story, and others recently, Workers Compensation is acting equally as thieves. If we don't do something, we could be the next victim. Exposing insurance companies such as Crawford & Co and pursuing the Supreme Court if necessary, is the only way these type of scam artist can be stopped from taking away all you have worked hard your entire life for. Look for more blog entries coming soon on Workers Compensation issues in our country.


Blowing In the Wind

We expect promised rights for a hard working life

From the time we are old enough to read

We are taught goodness prevails for a man who works with great strife

So, how does the good man fall down, and get left blowing in the wind?



Consider a 25 year consistent worker, taxpayer and good historian

Who did as he was taught, dedicated and true American citizen

Never begging for handouts, only providing for himself with integrity and desire

Then suddenly, something fails, and he is left blowing in the wind



One day, in the food industry career that had brought him great favor

Was a simple matter of water lying on the kitchen floor

The dishwasher had leaked, and leaving an accident to happen

There came Ron into the wet floor, and away blowing in the wind



Blowing in the wind that is now what Ron Marcowicz does daily

With one fall, how one's life changes dramatically

The problem is that Ron had to learn more lessons than imagined

Now he was dealing with disability and a system of cruelty



Ron found his life disabled along with a flurry of injustice

Workers Comp fraudulent & unethical insurance acts

From Nevada's elected, Senator Reid and Congress Rep Titus

Governor and Mayor Goodman's office refuse to help, and they all have the facts!



Ron's home has already reached foreclosure due payments that lack

Workers Comp System refusing to pay and lying behind every one's back

Threatening the doctors so they deny Ron service, for they fear injustice

Add to that the back surgeon who should be pursued for malpractice



To survive, Ron has had the fight of his life

He doesn't understand why those in able positions

Have ignored his pleas for help and his well deserving rights

Why do they allow him to blow in the wind?



As a handful of supporters make phone calls and written requests

To Nevada officials, TV and News journalists and radio stations across the US

Even a journalist who covered Ron's story but fails to publish

This is overwhelming, criminal and plain right foolish



If only all these who ignorantly turn away and pull their politics

Understood that at any moment their life and expectations could sway away

Their fall could be so drastic & they will expect their insurance

Along with support by officials, but it all could go blowing in the wind



Please wake up and see what you have not done for yours

Choose to attain to that which you promised as your purpose

Don't allow a human being so close to your hands

Be left blowing in the wind!



Why do I care about this man I have never seen or met?

My purpose was found through a surprising fall

And after I worked 21 years of my life

I was afraid me & my daughter would be left blowing in the wind



But God did find angels along my path

Many times as I had to push and pull my life along

I was caught by a system that did not fail me

And all my fears went blowing in the wind



So my plea is that there will be angels that will cross Ron's path

Who will fulfill their duties to include justice and their promises at last

Reach out to a fellow American whose life and family are falling fast

Please stop the wind, before they are lost, and let them stand still

Stop Misfortune Before It Begins

Welcome Truth's Light and Make Everything Right for You

Have you ever seen rage in yourself? Generally, we don't want to see certain states within us because we've been conditioned to think of them as bad for us. We don't understand that these states are part of a world that can be changed when the light is brought to them.

What happens when we see things about ourselves that we don't want to see?

In order to avoid looking at itself, the mind will seize on the rage it has seen, and it will try to explain it. It will take the initial darkness, the negative energy, and because it seems to be so bad, the mind will make something out of it that it can deal with.

When we live from a nature that does not want to see its own self, then there's no chance that self, that nature, can ever change. When we hide from ourselves the way we feel, the only thing that we're accomplishing is the assurance that these feelings will return again... only more of them! It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: we condemn and doom ourselves by being afraid of the darkness in us.

We have one thing to do with our own states, and that is to see them as they are, to catch the part of us that's afraid of being what we've just seen, to stop trying to hide anything anymore... because we're on this earth to learn.

Negative states are created for the purpose within ourselves of being changed into something else. Everything that happens within us is all part of this beautiful process: anything that we are willing to bring into the light of ourselves will be changed by the light we bring it into.

So instead of going along with the answers that you give yourself for why you feel the way you do -- instead of excuses, rationales, justifications for your state (which are the mind's way of trying to deflect the state) -- don't hide it. Just simply see it. If you don't explain yourself to yourself, then all that's left is yourself and your awareness of it. You're not talking to yourself anymore about what you see. There's just seeing.

Don't hide anymore. There is something beautiful that doesn't have fear in it that wants to touch us. Its touch is what changes us. We cannot change ourselves. All the ways in which we excuse these dark parts are efforts on the part of the darkness to change itself, to deal with it, to get around it. Stop trying to get around a negative state. Bring the negative state into the light of your awareness, and let that awareness do what it is intended to do, which is to change it, to transform it.

-- Guy Finley